
What is Quiet Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)?
Having quiet borderline personality disorder (BPD) — aka “high-functioning” BPD — means that you often direct thoughts and feelings inward rather than outward. As a result, you may experience the intense, turbulent thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that characterize BPD, but you try to hide them from others.
What are the different types of borderline personality disorder?
To date, there are four recognized types of BPD: discouraged (“quiet”) borderline. self-destructive borderline. impulsive borderline. petulant borderline. As with other mental illness terms, “quiet” BPD can be misleading. Having quiet BPD means that you direct any mood swings and behaviors inward, rather than directing them toward others.
How do you know if you have borderline personality disorder?
Being mean to others in a quiet way (e.g., giving the silent treatment) A feeling of hopelessness all the time (e.g., existential angst) Inwardly directed hostility, anger, or aggression (e.g., having a harsh internal critic, self harm) Mood swings that can last hours to days (but that appear invisible to outsiders)
How do you get rid of quiet BPD?
Psychodynamic therapy, dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), or psychiatric medications are among the first lines of treatment for quiet BPD. DBT teaches mindfulness strategies, emotional regulation, distress tolerance, and interpersonal effectiveness. With practice, this can help reduce self-destructive thoughts and actions.

Can you have quiet BPD?
You may be familiar with BPD, but there are also other subtypes of this condition. One such subtype is known as “quiet” BPD, which means that you direct your struggles more inward so others don't notice. Quiet BPD is difficult to diagnose and treat, but the earlier you seek help, the better the outcome.
Is Quiet BPD a disorder?
Quiet borderline personality disorder (BPD) is not a recognized subtype in terms of diagnosis; rather, it's a term that refers to people who meet the criteria for diagnosis of borderline personality disorder but who don't fit the typical profile.
Can you have quiet BPD and BPD?
Having quiet borderline personality disorder (BPD) — aka “high-functioning” BPD — means that you often direct thoughts and feelings inward rather than outward. As a result, you may experience the intense, turbulent thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that characterize BPD, but you try to hide them from others.
How does someone get quiet BPD?
Some potential causes of quiet BPD may be the result of: Family history of various personality disorders. History of other mental health conditions (anxiety disorders, bipolar disorder, eating disorders, substance abuse, depression, etc.) History of neglect, abuse, trauma, or abandonment in childhood.
How painful is quiet BPD?
Someone with Quiet BPD 'implodes' rather than 'explodes'. You put yourself down when bad things happen, and when you feel rage, you hurt yourself rather than lash out at others. The emotional pain you suffer is not any less than someone with other forms of BPD, but you do all that you can to hide it.
How common is quiet BPD?
While people with quiet BPD often seem fine outwardly, they are struggling inside with feelings of intense loneliness, shame, or self-criticism. BPD is estimated to affect about 1.6% of the population at any one time. However, some estimates put the percentage closer to 6%.
What is it like living with quiet BPD?
Living with quiet borderline personality disorder can be exhausting and incredibly debilitating. It can stop a person from being able to enjoy their everyday life, as they struggle to cope with the intense thoughts and emotions that they experience.
What mimics borderline personality?
Some symptoms of BPD can be very similar to other mental health problems, including: bipolar disorder. complex post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) depression.
What are the characteristics of a quiet BPD?
Listed below are the some of the most common characteristics of quiet BPD: 3 . Having unhealthy boundaries. Becoming obsessed with a specific person and wanting to spend as much time as you can with ...
What does it mean when you have a quiet BPD?
This might mean having another mental health disorder, experiencing difficulties in relationships, or falling apart when faced with challenging life circumstances.
Why is my BPD quiet?
typical BPD, it’s likely that one’s personality or temperament influences how the disorder manifests in terms of outward symptoms or inward symptoms. In addition, a child who was berated for talking too much or being a nuisance, might turn inward instead of outward.
What is a quiet personality disorder?
Quiet borderline personality disorder (BPD) is not a recognized subtype in terms of diagnosis; rather, it’s a term that refers to people who meet the criteria for diagnosis of borderline personality disorder but who don’t fit the typical profile . According to the National Institute of Mental Health ...
Why is BPD misdiagnosed?
Because of the hidden nature of quiet BPD, it often is misdiagnosed as something else (e.g., depression, social anxiety, autism) or takes longer to diagnose because of the lack of classic symptoms. Most clinicians think of the borderline personality disorder case as being angry and explosive, but these individuals are instead quiet and hurting.
What is the purpose of DBT?
The objective of DBT is to teach you mindfulness strategies to manage stress, emotions, and distress.
What is unhealthy boundaries?
Having unhealthy boundaries. Becoming obsessed with a specific person and wanting to spend as much time as you can with that person. Self isolation or avoidance as a form of self protection when you are feeling overwhelmed. Self harm that is hidden from others so that they don't suspect that something is wrong.
Dialectical behavioral therapy
Dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) was developed by psychologist Marsha Linehan. This form of therapy teaches you to live and cope with difficult and overwhelming emotions.
Mentalizaton-based therapy
Mentalization-based therapy helps you develop awareness of your inner state. Another large focus of mentalization-based therapy is learning how to develop empathy for other peoples’ experiences.
Medication
There’s no single medication that’s effective for BPD, but some symptoms may be relieved with meds.
How long does a quiet BPD last?
Some of the most notable symptoms of quiet BPD include: mood swings that can last for as little as a few hours, or up to a few days, but no one else can see them.
What is quiet BPD?
All About Quiet BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) Borderline personality disorder ( BPD) is a type of mental health condition that’s known for fluctuations in mood and behaviors. People with BPD may also struggle with relationships as well as their own self-image.
What is borderline personality disorder?
Share on Pinterest. Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a type of mental health condition that’s known for fluctuations in mood and behaviors. People with BPD may also struggle with relationships as well as their own self-image. You may be familiar with BPD, but there are also other subtypes of this condition.
What is the best treatment for BPD?
Psychodynamic therapy, dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), or psychiatric medications are among the first lines of treatment for quiet BPD. DBT teaches mindfulness strategies, emotional regulation, distress tolerance, and interpersonal effectiveness.
What are the different types of BPD?
To date, there are four recognized types of BPD: discouraged (“quiet”) borderline. self-destructive borderline. impulsive borderline. petulant borderline. As with other mental illness terms, “quiet” BPD can be misleading. Having quiet BPD means that you direct any mood swings and behaviors inward, rather than directing them toward others.
What are the symptoms of BPD?
social anxiety and self-isolation. fear of being alone, yet pushing people away at the same time. inability to build connections with others (depersonalization) self-harm or suicidal thoughts. Keep in mind that some people with quiet BPD may experience just a few of these symptoms, while others might experience more.
Is quiet BPD a mental illness?
While such conditions may occur together, quiet BPD is a separate diagnosis that only a mental health professional can make.
What is quiet borderline personality disorder?
Quiet borderline personality disorder is a type of BPD in which a person directs their intense emotions such as shame, anger, sadness, and more inward towards themselves . It is also often referred to as acting in rather than acting out towards others. With other BPD forms, a person might take the intense emotions they feel out on others around them.
Why do people with BPD feel scared?
People with quiet BPD often feel afraid to let others get too close to them on an emotional level. They often believe, “If I let this person into my life, they can leave me, and that will be unbearable.” This belief can make it difficult for those with quiet BPD to build and maintain genuine, healthy connections with others. In addition to fearing that others will decide to leave them, people with quiet BPD also often worry that their condition and accompanying symptoms might push people away.
What does it feel like to be quiet with BPD?
When their feelings become too unbearable, a person with quiet BPD frequently will detach emotionally from their experience, also known as dissociation. This can feel as if you are watching your life happen from afar and disconnected from painful feelings and desirable feelings such as happiness and love.
What is a BPD?
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental illness characterized by intense emotional reactions that can affect mood, behavior, self-image, and relationships. According to recent studies, the condition affects 1.6% of the general population. As common as BPD is in the mental health profession and community, there is a less known type of BPD called quiet borderline personality disorder. What makes quiet BPD different than other forms of BPD?
Why do people with BPD hide their feelings?
Many with quiet BPD, especially those who experienced childhood trauma, hide their feelings because that is what they learned to do to survive when they were younger. You might believe your emotions are only acceptable if you appear in good spirits. Instead of showing up authentically, it feels safer and more comfortable to hide the pain and pretend everything is okay.
What does it mean when someone has BPD?
Self-blame is a common occurrence for people with quiet BPD. Most people go through situations where they blame themselves for how something played out, but many with quiet BPD struggle with this on a much regular and emotionally intense basis. Sometimes, sufferers of quiet BPD will blame themselves for instances that they are not at fault for. As the guilt sits with them, they might struggle with feelings of unworthiness, shame, guilt, and believe that they do not deserve happiness, connection with others, and love.
Why do children fawning?
Fawning is a component of the fight-flight-freeze response that usually develops during childhood to evade abuse and mistreatment from adults. Children experiencing trauma adapt to fawning as it feels safer to placate their abuser (s) and hope it will stop the abuse from occurring.
Coping with Quiet BPD comes down to understanding it
Not all Borderline Personality Disorder sufferers do so out in the open. This is how to cope when you have Quiet BPD.
What is borderline personality disorder?
Borderline personality disorder is a complex and nuanced illness that causes you to struggle with your emotions. It can be corrosive, if unmanaged, and makes it hard to have honest, stable relationships with other people. It’s believed that about 1 in 100 people have BPD, but what does that really mean when you get down to it?
Signs you might be living with quiet BPD
While only a mental health professional can definitively diagnose you with borderline personality disorder, there are a number of signs that you or a loved one might be suffering with this quiet shadow of a disorder.
Learning how to live with Quiet BPD
Though it is unclear if it is possible to cure BPD, we do know that it is possible to learn how to live with this disorder. There are number of coping techniques that can be used, but they take time, commitment and perseverance to master. Overcoming your BPD comes down to overcoming those urges which are overpowering and self-destructive.
